my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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