I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
