I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
