I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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