Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
