He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
