I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
