I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
