She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
