ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
