I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
