dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
