If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
