Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
