if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
