Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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