Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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