we have officially lost it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize