why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
