At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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