Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
