i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
