You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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