I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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