I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize