My first STD was from a foam party
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You need a sexual gate keeper
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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