i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
