remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
