your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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