I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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