Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
