this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
