I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize