just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
