Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize