Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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