Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
