I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
