my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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