can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
