Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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