i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
