Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
