? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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