His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
