marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
