I got chris browned last night
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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