I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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