We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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