FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
