I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize