If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
