Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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