Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize