What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
