Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
