Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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