I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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