I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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